by Renee' Bradshaw
(Gentry, Arkansas)
Date of Entry:October 20, 2008
About me...
I am a 42 year-old first-time grandma. The Lord chose to make me infertile but blessed me with step-children who have, over time, become my own. Our family motto, is "sometimes God sends us the long way home" they are the children of my heart, though they were formed in another woman's womb. This has been my year of "letting go" as well as "new beginnings" God has shown me that my purpose is ministering to my family, and being called "The Repairer of Broken Walls". In the last five months, since my grandaughter was born, He has shown me that with Him, I can be called "a restorer of paths to dwell in". I want to be totally surrendered to His will. He has done amazing things in my heart over the last year but there are still areas where I am weak and rooms of my heart that I have not surrendered and until I let go of the things in my life that hold no eternal worth or purpose, I cannot be as strong, as bold, as useful to His kingdom as possible.
Scriptures: Isaiah 35:3-5
(A)Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble. Say to those with anxious heart,
"Take courage, fear not Behold, your God will come with vengeance; The recompense of God will come, But He will save you." Then the eyes of the blind will be opened And the ears of the deaf will be unstopped.
My thoughts...
Seems the world is in a state of panic. Fear over the weak economy, the upcoming election, terrorist,new diseases,violence,poisonous foods in the food supply....these are the outside sources the enemy uses to frighten us but what about the inside sources of my fear? What is it that keeps me from offering to pray with a stranger in obvious distress, what terrible consequence keeps me from offering to help the woman in line in front of me who doesn't speak English and doesn't understand what the clerk is trying to tell her? What keeps me from talking to my brother who desperately needs the peace a real relationship with Jesus provides? "The Lord is my Rock and my Salvation whom shall I fear?" The Bible plainly tells me to "be anxious for nothing" that handles the outside and Isaiah 35:3-5 tells me to encourage those with anxious fearful hearts to "take courage" but to be convincing, I have to "practice what I preach". My God promises to come and not to come quietly but to come with a vengeance and save me....whom shall I fear? When I begin to walk in faith and "fearlessness" Others will see me and be encouraged. Even when I think no one is looking, my faith, my courage, the way I respond to tragedy, sorrow, or terror, my point someone else to the One who is the source of my strength.
Questions it brought to my mind...
Am I the deaf and blind made whole by a step of faith or is there someone watching or listening who needs my Jesus?
My closing prayer...
In these areas of weakness, Lord teach me to tap into the power that is available to me through Your Holy Spirit. Lord help me to "Fear Not" make me Your Mighty Warrior and when the enemy tempts me to be timid and afraid...remind me O my God...Your name alone is a strong tower of refuge.
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