Testimony: The Rainbow After The Storm

by Ayanna
(Sumas, WA, USA)

This is my story. I want to share it so God may be glorified! I am a living trophy of God’s grace.

I grew up in a loveless home. As a little girl all I wanted was to be loved and accepted. I longed for someone to spend time with me.... But instead all I received was anger, rejection, and mental, emotional, and sexual abuse.

When I was about 8 or 9 I went to Vacation Bible Camp. It was there in a little church that I first heard that Jesus loved me. I was shocked... How could this be??. He must not really know me then right?? Because I’m unlovable and worthless. So I raised my hand and accepted Jesus into my heart that day. And for a moment I felt complete peace and love..... But then the darkness came back when I returned home. The peace and love I felt was gone... And I thought maybe Jesus got to know me and decided not to be my friend after all....

When I was 14, I wanted to be “cool” when I entered high school. I wanted to fit in so badly. I felt that there wasn’t a place for me... Then I met the “party kids.” I soon became ensnared with alcohol, smoking, pot, and sex. I desperately wanted to belong and to feel some sense of love and acceptance. I began partying, my grades went way down, I started getting into trouble, and eventually I was kicked out of High School.

Soon, I realized that “my friends” were not giving me the love and acceptance I longed for. Those so called friends only wanted me around for 2 things “money” and “sex”. They were “users” pretending to be my friend. I found myself caught up in lifestyle I didn’t want! So I got out ! I stopped hanging out with those "friends" and removed my self from the party scene.

I met a man a few years later. He was so sweet and treated me so well. He was a “Christian guy”. He went to church and his family was outstanding citizens in the community. I was overwhelmed. His family was so nice to me. His mom and I became friends and I finally felt like I had a real family. We eventually married. But the marriage was not a fairytale. We were married for 2.5 years when I found out he was a pedophile.

I was devastated! My heart broke for the children he victimized. And how could I be married to such a monster! He refused to admit that what he was doing was wrong. He refuse to get any kind of help.... I had a nervous break-down and was broken in a million little pieces.... I had 22 years of hurt, pain, abuse and torment stored up in me and it all came out! I began to drink and smoke heavily.. Thoughts of suicide once again plagued me...I made several attempts to take my own life but each one failed. I became more and more frustrated. I filed for divorce and tried to put the pieces back together.

This was the darkness time in my life. This is when I turned to Jesus and fell at His feet and gave myself to Him. I ask Him to come into my heart and life and help me get it right! And you know what..... He did! He filled me up with love, peace, and hope! Feelings that were absolutely foreign to me! This was a major turning point in my life. I made a decision to follow Jesus and to live for Him! Jesus was my Rainbow after the Storm!

I was so happy about it I shared it with my family. I was so on fire and zealous for God! But they didn’t share my enthusiasm... Instead they began to treat me even worse. They disowned me, refused to talk to me, or help me in anyway. They actually came into my house when I was gone and took all my furniture and stuff except for my clothes! I was robbed blind!

I was left with nothing... except $22,000 of debt! I was out of work because of the breakdown and had no money.. I lost my home, car, everything. I was homeless for a 1.5 years. During this time my paychecks were garnished so I couldn’t make enough to support myself. I had no family and no friends... But thankfully I did have Jesus! And He was with me every step of the way! I stayed in 4 different shelters/missions. I slept in parks and vacant buildings. I even lived in a tent for a while. I didn’t have a car and I walked everywhere or rode the bus. During this time I felt like I was wandering around in the desert after being delivered from Egypt ! It was during this time my faith grew. I saw Him provide for me and protect me on the daily basis. I was totally dependent on My Heavenly Father for everything!

Eventually, Papa God led me to Sumas, WA to start a new life! He provided affordable housing for me in a quiet and safe neighbor! I have been happily housed in my own place for 9 years now. Praise Him! The Lord supernaturally delivered me from the $22,000 debt! He gave me favor in court and the judge dropped it ALL ! What a Mighty God I serve! He is awesome! He delivered me from prescription drugs, alcohol, and smoking!

Now, I am living on the Rainbow of God’s Love and Promises! He has been my Rainbow after the Storm! Every now and then Papa will paint a rainbow in the sky for me to see! It always reminds me that He loves me and He is for me and on my side! So the next time you see a rainbow, I hope it will minister God’s love and blessings to you too!

I want to encourage you that no matter who you are or where you’re at in life or what you have done in your past - - it’s NEVER too late! With God all things are possible! His love is unconditional. He loves YOU! He wants to be your friend too! You don’t have to perfect to come to Him. He will accept you just as you are! God not only CAN forgive ANY sin or mistake - - HE WILL! All you have to do is ask Him and He will! God is not punishing you or mad at you! God is madly in love with you. He is a good and loving Heavenly Father! He has goodness stored up for you too !