Submission in Marriage Bible Study

by Brandi
(USA)

My Husband and me

This submission in marriage Bible study was written by Brandi.

Date of Entry: 1/13/2009

About me:
I am a 28 year old mother and 2nd time wife. I am remarried after being divorced from my first husband after several counts of adultery. I am learning the art of submitting. I am a very strong willed woman and after going through a very hard first marriage (married at 17 years old) I have built a brick wall around myself to protect my spirit. I am now trying to break through that wall and learn to submit to my new husband. I really need some strong support in learning this art. I say that it is an art because it is a very hard trying thing for women to do in today's day in time.

Scriptures: Wives, be under the authority of your husbands, as is right in the Lord.

My thoughts...
I want to do what is right by the Lord and so I though by praying with other women about this...it may help lead me in the right direction. I can follow every law of the Bible and then I get to this one and I want to run. It is a curse in someways.

Questions it brought to my mind...
If I truly want what is best for myself then I must follow what God has commanded me to do. If I ever want to be truly happy, then this is the way to get to that point. Following even those things you do not like.

Thanks for reading and any feedback is great.

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Sep 19, 2010
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submission and second marriages
by: Anonymous

well i to am in my second marriage my first husband and i were married for a long time we seperated after 18 years and then it was 10 more years before we divorced. he to left for someone else... I was not very submissive with this first husband and we had alot of problems but we could have worked them out if both partys had been willing to do so..... in my current marriage i am happier than ever before I to am a strong willed person but when god said for us to submitt to our husbands he doesn't mean that in the way alot of men think he means it we were created to be a help mate for our husbands not slaves and wrong doers for them.... Sometimes you just have to let go of the past in order to see what is in the future.....I had to learn to let myself be happy and to let god control my ever movement so being submissive to my husband is apart of that.... I love him and we discuss ever decision that we make sometimes it goes as i want it and sometimes it don't and besides that the burden of leading the family is on him and not you although you both share in the responsibility of it he is the head of the house hold and he is responsible for leading you as god said......I don't know if this helps or not but maybe

May 12, 2010
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Power under Authority
by: Gakii

This was a hard lesson for me to learn and as you rightly put it, in this day and age submission sounds really hard.
I came to understand and accept the submission principle in my marriage when I understood the way God has designed Power and Authority in marriage. It is obviously clear in many marriages that the wife is powerful and very influential. Indeed,a woman can twist a man's heart in whichever way she wishes. However, God has designated the man (husband) to be the authority in the home. Literally placing the "power" under "authority".
Consider this analogy: fire in a stove, a place where you can control when it lights and by how much,is productive in cooking (and not burning!) a meal. On the contrary, a wild fire in a house will spread very fast and burn down the house. It is unproductive.
Think about the wife as the fire, when she is operating under authority (stove - husband) she is productive and everyone enjoys from her power. But when the wife submits to no authority, the result is that her home will not stand - it will burn down.
Submission does not make a woman less powerful, it makes her more productive in the marriage according to God's order. If you think about it that way, it makes it easier to submit.

Mar 14, 2010
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Die to Self!
by: Dawn

I have found that the key to submission is dying to self moment by moment. I personally don't like my husband but Christ loves him and God hates divorce. By dying to self i mean that you need to put aside what you want, what you need, what he does wrong, all the junk, and let Christ truly live through you. Kinda like the saying "What would Jesus do?" Obey God, do what He says is right and good and trust that He will take care of everything else, He can even make me fall in love with my husband again if my "new heart" (such as David prayed for, so have i) which he has given me is completely committed and truly loving and obeying God. I pray daily and sometimes even more often the prayer of Mary in Luke 1:38, "Let it be unto me Lord according to Your word!" Our husbands will never be perfect and frankly neither will we, my husband has recently told me there is nothing to like about me, but God is perfect and will perfect everything in its time. He has made promises to us "if" we obey Him and His word. I don't trust my husband but I trust God and He has my best in His mind and He will take care of me if I put Him first in all things. Of course, in all of this we have to make sure that our hearts are pure and not full of anger, bitterness or resentments because that is just heaping hot coals on our own head! Ouch. The best way to avoid this is Prayer, and being in the Word daily if not numerous times a day, and fasting when you think that there may be something your holding onto. Also, confession, maybe not always to your husband but to an accountability partner, confessing the negative feelings and asking for God's forgiveness and healing in regards to them is imparitive and brings a joy like no other. It also gives us that yoke that Jesus speaks of that is easy and the burden that is light because your allowing Him to carry it. I pray that this helps you. FYI, i am in no way perfect at doing this but Christ is and the more i lean on Him, the better He is able to do it through me. We were born to die just as Christ was, He was the perfect example and the only thing we are meant to do is let Him live His life and Ministry through us. God Bless.

Dec 04, 2009
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Real Submission
by: Icia R.

The very word submission translates into: coming under the mission. The mission is determined by the vision that your spouse has for his household. Don't be afraid to ask him what that vision is, because without it, your marriage will perish. You are specifically designed as his spouse to incubate, grow, and birth out whatever that vision is-it will only happen through true submission. As a woman you thrive on love and your husband thrives on your respect-if you both work on making sure each other is being fulfilled in those respective areas then submission will be easier. Your love for your spouse will be perfected and there will be no room for fear. Healing will take place concerning your bitterness because God will honor your marriage. Just as how Jesus Christ brought healing and salvation to the church, as you begin to serve your husband, your husband will bring the same healing and salvation not only to your home and your marriage, but to you personally. I know because I have had to experience it myself!

Oct 01, 2009
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Also...
by: Heather Brown

The verse does command us to submit to our husbands, but we must not ignore the "as to the Lord" part. We talked about this just recently at church. Our pastor explained that we are only to submit in Godly ways to our husbands, If our husband expects something of us that in unGodly, we are not commanded to submit in that area.

I love being submissive to my husband. I too am in my second marriage for the same reasons you are. I married first at 18 and he left me for another woman at 20. At that time, we already had two children. I built a huge wall of bitterness and stubbornness that I was convinced not to allow my new husband to break down. I mean, I was not going to let ANY MAN walk on me again.

Christ has changed my heart and our marriage improves on a regular basis because of my submissiveness. Also, it has improved because my husband has taken head to Ephesians 5:25.

Apr 26, 2009
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Relief
by: Anonymous

Think about the benefits of submission. It will bring relief, not burden.

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