Negative talk about others & Keeping the Greatest Commandment: to Love

by Adriana Gomez
(Boston, Ma)

I have a friend who talks about other people a lot; good and bad things. She observes things about people and relays her negative opinion about them to me.

There may be some truth to her observations at times. I don't like listening to her negative opinions about people. I mainly don't like when (in my opinion) she arrives to conclusions about a person (whoever they maybe) without not giving them a fair loving chance. It makes me feel bad for that other person even though the one that is my friend is talking about them.

Yesterday, she came to my room and started making a negative comment about someone.... And then I said, "Why do you always like to talk about people?"
She got visibly upset and said she ll never say anything to me again. And walked away saying she didn't realize that all she did was talk about people.
Then I said to her that I didn't say that but that she did talk about people very often and regularly.

She seems to be upset with me since then. I feel bad.

In hindsight, I should have probably talked to her in a different way.

My general question is, how should I respond, deal with, engage with a friend who likes to talk negatively about others?

I don't think I should be engaging in it, right?

I feel like talking about others, first, your mind is dwelling on negative things, second you are severing any possible brotherly love you can have towards your neighbor, and instead limiting yourself....

I don't know what to think...

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