God Changed Me From A Cutter To A Christian

by Kristin
(Savannah, GA, United States)

I'm 16 years old. When I was little, like, ages 4-5, I was a strong believer because of my grandparents. When I was 5, my dad left. I was always closest to him, so when he left, I felt very alone. When I was 7, my mom got remarried to a guy i'd only met twice and didn't get along with. I had to move away from my home, my family, everything I knew, because of the marriage. When I got here to Georgia, things got bad. 3rd-5th grade I had absolutely NO friends. I got made fun of because I was a little overweight and I was constantly the victim of verbal bullying. I got to middle school and things got even worse. I got a few friends, but the bullying was worse than ever. People would say I looked pregnant because of my weight, and things got really bad at home. There was constant arguing, me vs. my mom, stepdad, and sister. I felt so alone and miserable. I hated my life, and I had come to 2 conclusions: 1) I was worthless, and 2) I was unlovable. By 8th grade, I was suicidal. It was in that time I started cutting myself. It made me feel better, like I was putting all my inner pain on the outside, and I considered my razors "friends". I kept cutting into high school, where I got 2 best friends who both left me like I was nothing. I cut worse than ever and then I went to the extreme: I overdosed in a suicide attempt. When I failed, I cut a LOT! I was furious that I survived. Then, about 2 weeks later, a facebook friend who i'd never really talked to invited me to her youth group. I went and felt the Holy Spirit in me. I kept going and didn't feel it. I was still cutting and one night, right as I was about to make my 1st cut in my nightly cutting session, I felt God's presence. I didn't cut that night. I decided then that I was quitting.
Jesus saved me from a life of blades. I won't say I never slip up, cause I do, but I find strength in God. I'm a dedicated Christian. I go to youth, sing in the worship band, go to sunday church regularly..i'm living for Him! Praise Jesus!