Fighting for my family

by Chris Hernandez
(Tucson, AZ)

I met my daughters mom when i was 18 and i knew she was the one. we had the best relationship and got pregnant rather quick. that's when things go rough. i thought it was maybe the normal issues couples had, but the presence of God was absent in my home.we would still live a life of sin and go to church occasionally, thinking that it was ok. 2 years into the relationship, we broke up and she saw me with someone else. the pain in her eyes to me didnt matter as she saw me with another woman.i played games with her and told her to keep holding on. i finally broke up with that girl and went back to her. in the beginning it was like when we first started dating.but again, God was absent in our home.i began to pull away and communication really broke down in my home. i stopped loving her and was lusting for other women. all the while she kept trying. she also had her moments where she didnt give all herself to me, but me more than her.

i was out of work for a while and asked God to provide me with work so that i could finally wed her.he answered and i bought her a ring.like i said things were ok for a while, but God was absent. than things went back to the way the were. fighting, no love making, no communication.i had demons and spirits wandering within me that i brought into my home and was tearing my family apart.i was always angry and her and my daughter and didnt love them right. me coming from a mexican family, i thought that was the way you were supposed to be.

she began to give up and pull away. i saw this and started to change. but she said it was too late.i moved out and i spend all my time alone.i seek Gods comfort and love to get through these tough times. she is talking to another man, and i get to deal with that idea that shes not mine anymore.i feel God telling me that i will have my family back and to not give up.shes changed alot in that time we've been apart( about 1 1/2 months) and i know that she isnt right with God. i can see pain and hurt in her eyes still and i think that she might be putting me through the same thing i did to her. in John 14:14 it says "And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. 14You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." so everyday i ask that God takes this pain away and gives me my family back. some of you may think it might be too late and move on as a man of God. but i truly love this woman. and i know God wants me to save her. shes going out and partying, dancing, drinking. shes weak and i ask God to give her a sign.

Last night i went to my cousins church to see what it was like. i had never been to this church and didnt know who went there. who do i see? My daughters mom and her tia. they seemed surprised to see me. after service i saw my daughter and told my ex that us being here wasnt a coincidence. i had been praying hard and God is listening. i saw the pain in her eyes and she dismissed my comments and said" yes it is a coincidence" and i could feel her pain and sorrow that she had yet to forgive me for. but i still thanked God for bringing us together for that brief moment. i know that the toughest times are ahead of me, but God will be my light and strength. Amen

if anyone has any scripture or inspirational words i would love to hear them.

God Bless and dont lose faith in life.