decisions

Hi! I have been put in a position where I feel like either way I go I will be doing the wrong thing. My husband lost his job in 2009. Because of this we have been in serious financial trouble. We have six kids, and we have taught them all at home. We live in a tiny house, not above our means. rents would cost more than our house payment. Herein lies my problem. Putting the three that I am presently teaching at home, in public school is something I do not feel that the Lord wants me to do. I actually don't worry that it is a worldly place becasue our kids have lots of 'friends' that are not christians. They all compete in the public schools sports programs. The public schools around here are not good at all. It is a city and they have a zillion issues because of that; violence, drugs etc. We have one daughter who is very dyslexic, and at 14 would have a very hard time in PS. If I teach them at home I cannot work during the day, and if I work at night, our oldest three will have trouble getting to their jobs because they share a car. Also if I work I will have no time to cook etc....which saves money. I presently clean homes, and I make decent money doing that, and that is flexible and somewhat manageble. I have a degree in sports management and

just applied for a gymnastics teaching/coaching job, which I got, but now I am thinking how in the world am I going to do all of this. The cleaning jobs tend to be sporadic because at times the people cancel so I cannot depend on that money. My body is really hurting too from all of my years as a competitive gymnast. In short I am completely worn out. I just don't know what the Lord wants me to do. I feel that if I truly 'obey' him, I will stay home with the kids, teach them diligently and allow God to provide through my husband. Recently my 60 year old husband has gotten some more stable construction type jobs...he was in an office job before, in advertising. Then I think maybe the Lord wants me to work, but I am not sure how much. Some of my older three work two jobs and take local college classes, there is only so much they can do, and they are not parents. I do know this, God does want me to be peaceful, and at present I am not..........I don't see how I can be. I guess I just don't know what is God speaking and what is Satan and the world speaking. Everyone's tolerance level is different. Some women can do it all...... I just know I cn't do it all well. My little ones are 'suffering' under the weight of a worried mom. Thank-you for any answers.!

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