Can Christians look for love online?

by Olusegun Mokuolu
(Nigeria)

Let me start by correcting a wrong notion. IT IS WRONG TO LOOK FOR LOVE. We are not to look for love. All the love we want can be found in Jesus Christ. If we are not satisfied with the love of Jesus, no other love will satisfy us. The man should seek a wife (not a girl friend, date, lover, partner, or sex-mate) so that they could both serve the purpose of God together. That should be the motive. For the woman, she should wait to be found by a man that has the purpose of God for his life. Then together they can both fulfill the purpose of God.
Marriage is about God not really about us. Marriage was not designed to give us happiness but for us to fulfill the purpose of God. Our Joy and happiness is in Christ Jesus. If we dont get the purpose and the motive right, every other thing would go wrong. This basic understanding if not settled in our hearts, we shall continue to chase shadows. Marriage was not designed to makes us happy. God, through the Lord Jesus Christ is our joy. No man or woman can make another happy. In the long run, it would only lead to pain and heart ache. We must first of all, learn to be loved and be happy in Christ.
This is not to say that, the man would not love his woman, but that instruction for man to love his woman can only be activated in marriage. �Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;� (Ephesians 5:25 KJV). Therefore, we don�t go out seeking love. God is love. When we have God in our heart, then we have already found the greatest love on earth. What we seek is a spouse to fulfill the purpose of God. The foundation of marriage is the purpose of God. Any relationship not built with a view to serving God, is really a waste of time.

Now to the question; I think it is possible to meet your spouse online and I do not see anything sinful about that. No one can predict the meeting point. If it's online that a woman is found by a man or the man finds a woman then so be it. There is no sin in that. But it is important that the woman prayerfully consider the proposal before giving a response. We can meet our spouse anywhere. But that place is only a meeting point; due process must be followed according to God�s word. Marriage cannot take place online; physical meeting should be the next step. Where we meet is not as important as what we do after meeting. The man must give the woman as much time as needed to prayerfully consider his proposal. The worldly concept of proposing and having a ring ready does not work with Christians. Until the woman prays and come with an answer, the man cannot make any surprises.
Do not be emotionally involved with a man until you are sure God is saying that he is your man; clear things with God first. Pray, wait and if need be seek counsel. We are Christians; we cannot afford to do things the way they are done in the world. Our problem with relationship has been that we want do it the way it is done in the world. You might make mistakes in the process of knowing God�s mind or wisdom, but God will always make a way of escape when you truly seek him. The man should avoid using words that would set the emotion of the sister ablaze at this stage. She might think you do not love her, but in the end, you will be justified.
We must therefore seek to glorify God in all that we do. We must be prayerful, study the word and walk worthy of the Lord. Not because we want to marry, but because we love the Lord and want to obey him. Many people leave their lives the way they want, and expect to now get it right when it comes to marriage. You cannot eat your cake and have it, what you sow is what you reap.
We can decide to go about it the worldly way or follow the Christ way. The choice is ours. But I know you would choose the Christ way.